drafts 0001 to 0056 – the untitled drafts you’ve never read - part three

We have arrived at part three, the series where I catch you up with the drafts you may have missed. So, you will find drafts 29 to 42 below

draft 0029

You know that feeling when somebody is talking to you, but you don’t want to talk to them at that particular time, you just want to be in your thoughts and just to be thinking.  

So, they are just talking and talking and not to be rude you are just pretending you are listening, when in fact you couldn’t care less and in your head you are like ‘Oh my goodness, just shut the heck up please, I am trying to be in my head here.’ 

Like if you don’t mind, just let me be. This is the only time that I get to travel into my thoughts and I want to enjoy it because I actually like it, but you keep interrupting me. 

So, do you guys enjoy going into your thoughts too? Please could you tell me! I would love too!

So, I’ll be back on Sunday afternoon at 1pm.

See you then, Drafters. 

draft 0030

I have recently realised that winter is now my favourite season, as I am this my body is disagreeing with me in so many different ways: 

Firstly, the freezing weather that comes along with winter naturally, you know that icy bitter wind that cuts deep into your skin and feels quite painful. That’s one reason why my body disagrees with me.

Secondly, relating to the first point, the weather is absolutely terrible. There is no consistency, it could be snowing one minute then the next the sun will come out, and you can never dress correctly for it, especially in the UK.

Thirdly and lastly, the weather will make you get much more tired than other seasons. I think that this is because it dark much more earlier, so we have less daylight and as your body has its own internal clock, as soon as it sees dark it will think that it needs to sleep. 

Ok, so I have told you why my body disagrees but let me now tell you the beauty of winter.

You don’t have the expectations of going out because of the weather and just the way that season is (that is what I think anyway). Maybe I am saying this because I feel pressured by other seasons that I have to go out, as in those seasons I might experience the fear of missing out. This is one of my favourite reasons for liking winter.

Also,  the cozy feeling of being inside in the beautiful warmth of your abode. While watching a film (movie) snuggling up in a blanket with a warm drink and relaxing. I don’t know about you but that sounds amazing to me.

Anyway, winter has its benefits and it doesn’t, which my body is still saying at this very moment (body shut up now). Still to me it is favourite season, my body has actually shut up, I’m surprised haha, you must think I am crazy by what I am saying but I promise you I’m sane.

So, I’ll be back on Wednesday afternoon at 1pm. You can check my sanity then. 

Alright. See you then, Drafters. 

draft 0031

So, the other day is was just going through Substack and came across a post from a publication called CALM WEALTH by Filip Filatov. In this post he said:  

“Boredom is an underrated superpower.

It means your plan is working quietly.

It means there is nothing to fix because nothing is broken.”

Now the reason that I connected with this is because I now understood why they say (scholars, psychologists, people of knowledge, etc) that boredom is a good thing. As he mentions in his post that being bored is basically that your plan is quietly working without flaw and that it means that there is nothing to fix because nothing is broken.

Now the beauty in this, is that if your plan is working the way that you intended to work and it is executed perfectly, then there is nothing to make it better, you would naturally develop a sense of boredom. Which most people would think is a bad sign when in reality it is the opposite.

Also, being bored gives you the ability to think more clearly and establish your thoughts collectively. To look around at the world and appreciate the beauty that is right in front of our face, instead of being clung to something that is overwhelming your mind like social media for instance.

To understand and acknowledge that there must be a creator who created all of this beauty and that creator is god. So I believe that it is impossible for the universe to just come into existence out of nothing, the only logical explanation is that there has to be a creator.

So, reading that part of the post made me understand the boredom a bit more and why they say that being bored is good. So, I think we should all try and incorporate boredom into our lives more than we do. I promise you will notice the difference. 

So, I’ll be back on Friday evening at 10pm.

See you then, Drafters. 

draft 0032

I am now trying to put a stop to my desires having a control over me and that means to stop wasting time and start putting it somewhere that truly matters.

As Aristotle once said "I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self.” One of the greatest minds even said that controlling your desires is greater than conquering your enemies. Even saying that it is the greatest victory, to control the enemy of your self. 

Also in Islam Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said:   

“We have returned from the lesser jihad to the greater jihad.”

When asked, “What is the greater jihad?” he replied:

“The struggle against the self (jihad al-nafs).”

Jihad means struggle, so Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) the greatest man ever is saying that the greatest struggle is against ourselves (desires).

So from now I will be trying to master my desires, so that I will be watching less sports, less social media scrolling, less looking at pictures (if you now want I mean and less bad character. I think that we should try to control our desires more.

So, I’ll be back on Sunday afternoon at 1pm.

See you then, Drafters. 

draft 0033

The urge to resist is the one of the things hardest to do. Its like you are being pushed up into the sky, when you really want gravity to be doing its job (I know this example might go against the order of nature, but you know what I mean). 

For instance, yesterday I felt the urge to waste time and tried so hard resist it, but I could not. I do think that me knowing I am wasting is actually a good thing, so maybe I shouldn’t be so harsh on myself. 

Then, sometimes, I think if I do that particular thing that wastes time, then I am not really making the most out of my time and time is a very precious thing.

Many of you must be thinking that we are human, so wasting time is just something that happens, but this just doesn’t feel right to me anymore. I want to let go of all these distractions and use the most out of the time that I have left.

Ok, so I think that we all start making the most out of our time, so that we can reach our goals and become the best versions of ourselves. Time is so under appreciated now and that is very scary.

So, I’ll be back on Wednesday afternoon at 1pm.

See you then, Drafters. 

draft 0034

Does anybody remember the time of devices that only served one purpose? Like I remember iPods, cameras, those handheld Nintendo devices that I have forgot the name for. I will probably remember the name later, lets see if I will remember.

In today’s world we have our phones that can do all of tasks in one go, so the new generation has no idea of how it was like before. But to me devices that serve one and only one purpose are much better and I love the nostalgia that I get from it. 

I also think that single purpose devices are much better for our mental health. As being overwhelmed or over-consumed is a big thing for us in today’s society, and having everything at our disposal (in our hands) is causing these problems. As when you have a device that only serves that one purpose like a camera, you are only focusing on taking pictures. 

But with smartphones you can be doing multiple tasks at once, like one second you will be taking pictures and then be checking social media the next. Using devices with one purpose removes this problem as we can just focus on that particular thing that we want to do. Doing too much at once is destroying our brains. So lets slow down and just do things one breath at a time.

Yes finally, I just remembered the name of that handheld Nintendo device, which is... Oh yeah the Nintendo DS, phew I almost forgot again. I used to love using this device everyday, for those who used this will know exactly what I am talking about.

I just feel that smartphones have destroyed most of these devices, like I am not against smartphones but I just think life was better than. I know that a lot of people will agree with me on this.

I just feel that devices which are designed and made for one dedicated purpose is better for our health, as I, myself feel that having so many possibilities of doing anything on your phone, just makes doing a single task much harder.

Anyway, the point I am making is that we need to go back to those days. For example, if you want to listen to music, we could start to use a iPod or a dedicated music player. Maybe reading a physical book or using a device dedicated to reading electronic books, instead of using your smartphones, to avoid being overwhelmed by so much. 

So lets try and reduce multitasking.  

So, I’ll be back on Friday evening at 10pm.

See you then, Drafters. 

draft 0035

I have recently deleted all of my social media apps from my phone except for instagram, as with instagram you can get knowledge and news of the world and what is happening, so I will try to discipline myself by only using it for only a specified amount of time (maybe 10 minutes). 

I’m doing this because of the harms that they cause to our brains and souls. These apps have only come into existence about 10 - 20 years ago, so how do we think that they survived. I bet you that they survived better and had greater social skills and spoke to people more. I find that with these smartphones we are not even able to have conversations with people anymore, due to our addiction and attention spans. 

These apps were specifically designed by psychologists, who looked at our brains and understood how to get us to keep staying on our screens. They discovered that quick shots of dopamine can achieve this and trick our bodies natural reward systems.

I want to be able to be more productive and achieve the goals that I want. I know everybody wants this too. So I have noticed that deleting my social media apps (except instagram, only 10 - 20 minutes a day), you have much more time to the things that you really want to do and to stop us from pointlessly scrolling for no good reason. 

Also, I am keeping instagram as a exercise to help me discipline myself by controlling my desire to use it. I think that by doing this I can grow my discipline and resistance. Using it for 10 - 20 minutes can be really good for training yourself. You say to yourself that I will only use it for the specified time that I have set, and not to touch it after that. Hoping that I take some control over my desires and I believe that control is greater than just getting rid of the problem for some people. But if you can’t control your desire, just delete the app. I might end up even deleting the app if my plan doesn’t work.

So, I think that everybody should delete all their social media apps and maybe keep their most used app as a exercise (only if they can but otherwise definitely don’t do that). Social media is one hundred percent one of the things that is destroying our lives. 

Anyway, by the will of god, good luck to me and you that we can achieve deleting our social media apps.

So, I’ll be back on Sunday afternoon at 1pm.

See you then, Drafters. 

draft 0036

Have you realised that people just can’t easily forgive people anymore. It’s a really big problem now, I have seen people just be so stubborn and I am like in my head It isn’t even that deep.

Like the person they are not willing to forgive could have done everything under the moon like they apologised or tried to accept that they, but no matter what they won’t accept. I know maybe they are hurt but there is also another that could hurting.

To be honest, it is really sad when I see this happening to somebody and it is not necessary. Like if god can forgive anybody, no matter what they have done then who are we not to forgive. 

Sometimes, there is no choice where you can’t forgive. As Muslims we believe that you can forgive somebody, but you don’t have to be involved in their life. I think this makes it much easier to deal with these situations, because you can distance yourself from that person while forgiving them. I think that it also can give you peace.

Anyway, the point I am making is that people can’t forgive and it is really affecting people mentally. I think that the solution that Islam gives really can help you.  

So, I’ll be back on Wednesday afternoon at 1pm.

See you then, Drafters. 

draft 0037

Do you ever sometimes have that feeling that you are supposed to be doing something but you don’t know what it is. And then you have an ache inside and you are constantly rushing yourself but yet you don’t even know what you were supposed to be doing in the first place. 

Then, after a couple of hours you will actually remember what you were supposed to be doing, but then you don’t have the same thrill to do it as before and you can’t be bothered. It can be so infuriating. 

Like you would have had your whole day planned out in a productivity sense and have that dopamine to want to do it next day. But when you wake up you don’t remember absolutely anything about what you wanted to do. 

That is why I think that we need to write down any idea that we have or to remember to plan out the productive day that you are trying to create. Also, making daily to-do lists is a must, but by this I mean that you should have a daily to-do list with the things that you want to do on a consistent basis, and one to-do list for different things that you want to do whenever they come to you. 

Forgetting what you were supposed to be doing is one of the worst feelings in the world and I am not even exaggerating. It can actually kinda feel painful and quite depressing. I think having a physical notebook or a note-taking app on your phone is very important to have on you, so that whenever you have an idea you can write it down and not forget. Then, when you have time you can organise them, which I would do every night. 

Sometimes, you will be thinking that there isn’t even anything even in my mind, so why can’t I remember. This could be to do with social media or just a overload of information from before, but definitely social media is causing it. Maybe we should stop putting extra information in our heads, so that we can remember easier.

Anyway, I just hate when this happens to us. Like I know that this is normal but from now I will be using a note-taking app and scheduling my days now. I think that we all need to be doing this. 

So, I’ll be back on Friday evening at 10pm.

See you then, Drafters. 

draft 0038

Oh, the tragic pain of not knowing what to write, is every writer’s most hated time there could ever possibly be. You try and try to think, but nothing is coming to mind, so then you enter panic mode, what am I going to do, am I even good enough to be a writer and so on. 

Then, realisation strikes, why am I even panicking that is going to help me. So, you take the relaxed root by just sitting down somewhere and just trying to think, most times this does work very well. But sometimes on that rare occasion it doesn’t, which can be irritating. 

To be honest, this is exactly what has happened to me for this draft and I thought why don’t I just talk about this exact situation. As I’m sure that everybody suffers with this situation from time to time and what a great moment to talk about it. 

I think one way to prevent could be that whenever we have a idea of what we want to write about, just write it down immediately in a note so you don’t forget. This short note doesn’t have to be detailed, just a simple sentence telling you to idea that’s it. Then later you can organise it later. 

The point I am making is that it can be really annoying when you are experiencing writers block. Let me know if this does happen to any you lot. I would to know and how do you overcome it.  

So, I’ll be back on Sunday afternoon at 1pm.

See you then, Drafters. 

draft 0039

You know in today’s society everything and everybody is just in a constant state of panic and just rushing everywhere. Whether it be keeping with news or just constant effort of keeping up with the entertainment industry (music, films, series, celebrities). Even though I don’t know why we care so much about the celebrities, they don’t think about us or given us anything to help our lives.

There is this new talk of slowing down and I think we are now in a time were the urgency for this is becoming apparent, and people are starting to realise this.

People don’t even have time to eat anymore, even have a family meal together without some type of entertainment that they must be watching while eating. Like what has happened to us, animals are better behaved than us. What does tell you? 

They say that civilisation is advancing. Well, hello. is it really? Because, to me it feels like its going back in time. Like I think humanity was much better off before and by that, I mean not everything, some are amazing like I wouldn’t be in this world without my ventilator, so I am grateful to god for that. 

We just need to stop multitasking so much and just focus on one thing at time, like when eating just eat or when reading a book just read a book (by the way I am telling this to myself too). And stop being so fixated on what the world is doing or telling us. Now don’t take the wrong way, obviously we should know what is happening with things that affect us or standing up for the truth.

Anyway, we all need to just slow down and take each passing day that we have as if it is the last one that we have left, that is what I think and I will be trying to do this myself.

So, I’ll be back on Wednesday afternoon at 1pm.

See you then, Drafters. 

draft 0040

You know when you have done something that you know is wrong but you don’t identify it as wrong in your head. But you are still thinking that you need to acknowledge that it is wrong but you don’t. It is like your soul is communicating with you because your soul doesn’t like when we do wrong.

We as Muslims believe that the soul hates it when you commit sins or do something that is not good. That is why you could be having all these different feelings in your body. Also, we don’t just think with our brains, the heart thinks too which science confirms. This  is mentioned in the Quran too (the holy islamic scripture), if you want to know details about the heart thinking click here. 

Maybe the fact that we do something and don’t say it was wrong but deep down know it’s wrong. I think the reason for this is that because we are enjoying the bad that we are doing so much, we start to become stubborn and tell ourselves that it is not wrong what we are doing, and from the bottom of our hearts we know completely that it is wrong. 

To be honest, this is still a mystery to me why it happens, I know I have given reasons why this happens; I still find it fascinating. But this is also a good thing that is happening because you still know what is right or wrong, even if you don’t know it from the beginning. This is still good, so if you are beating yourself up over this, please don’t you are doing your best.

Anyway, I just wanted to share this thought with you, to see if I am not the only one who has these questions in my head. So, let's (I am telling myself too) try to identify the wrong we do and keep away from it, but it is hard, so let's try.

So, I’ll be back on Wednesday afternoon at 1pm.

See you then, Drafters. 

draft 0041

I have now stopped putting a cap on my drafts from now on, as I have realised that my work should be about quality and not quantity and my publication is about raw natural thoughts that I have flowing from my mind. 

This word cap was putting under a lot of pressure and now I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Also, I would presume that people would rather read the thoughts that I have unfiltered, instead of writing to a word count. This is a mistake that I made, so if any of you remember my first draft, each of my drafts will now be not confined to numbers, but just raw, natural, unfiltered drafts.

I think that nobody (including myself, obviously that is what this draft is about) should write just to please a word count that they have set for themselves. As it puts you in a type jail cell, where you can’t just write without this lurking in the back of your mind that you have to reach that particular word count. To be honest, I don’t think anybody really cares about this, people now just want original, honest writing pieces.

Anyway, I will not be confined to word counts anymore (I feel free) and using Substack has helped me too become a better person, so thank you to everyone who has helped: by me seeing your notes, your posts, your likes, your engagement, just thank you. 

So, I’ll be back on Sunday afternoon at 1pm.

See you then, Drafters. 

draft 0042

Something that many people take for granted is the ability of being able to eat, I don’t mean intentionally by anyway, but I think that this could be a way for people to understand why. In no way is this a sob story and do not give me any pity, I beg of you.

Like with my disability I struggle to eat my food because of swallowing difficulties, so there are many foods that I cannot eat, as a result of this I have to eat soft solid food and this would be cooked more softer.

Another side of the story that people don’t understand, is that my mother has to prepare this food daily for me and brother (my brother also has the same disability and is five years older, so his swallow is worse). So, my mother doesn’t really get a break, like people could normally go out, order food but my mother and especially for birthdays we can’t either, but it doesn’t really bother anymore as my mother is a very good cook.

On a side note, this problem of eating from the disability, usually happens into your mid to late twenties.

Also, I am saying my mother a lot because in my culture you cannot refer to someone older with pronouns. 

Just to remind you don’t take pity on me please.

Anyway, the point that I am making is that we can even the simplest of things for granted and we all know that eating is such a enjoying experience. 

Ok, so I have told you something very important and I hope that you take this draft as a way of understanding people who suffer with these types of disabilities.

So, I’ll be back on Wednesday afternoon at 1pm.

See you then, Drafters. 

End of part three

Drafts 43 to 56 will be in part four (the last part).

See you then, Drafters.