drafts 0001 to 0056 – the untitled drafts you’ve never read - part one

I can probably assume that many of you are new here.

Or maybe you have been there from the very first draft.

Anyway, this draft will catch you up with some of the drafts you may have missed. As I will be releasing these in four parts, consisting of 14 drafts in each part, this is so that it doesn’t get to overwhelming, if I was to release all of them in one go. 

I know that maybe some of you have just arrived.

Others have followed these drafts from the day that I unleashed my mind.

Sorry, my Substack community that you will probably be unable to see this, but as soon as I get my account back from suspension I will send mailing list emails that untitled drafts has moved to a new home. 

This page exists for one and one reason only: to catch you up.

Before this new home, Untitled Drafts had already begun.

Thoughts were written.

Irritations were shared.

Feelings were drenched onto the page.

Draft after draft.

Some calm.

Some angry.

Some confused.

Some hopeful.

All of them raw and unfiltered.

All of them part of the same draft-book.

Below you will find drafts 1 to 14 — some of the thoughts that built Untitled Drafts before it arrived here.

You can read them in order, jump around, or discover whichever draft speaks to you first. 

However you read them, they all belong to the same thing:

A mind that refuses to stay quiet.

draft 0001

My first draft. Finally, it begins. 

I didn’t think that this day would ever come, but here it is. 

So, what are my drafts about? If you were wondering (I know you are). Basically, anything that crosses my mind I will say. But I promise you it won’t just be rubbish... well, maybe it might be. let the mind speak — it won’t shut up anyway, so we might as well let it go berserk from its cage. 

Let me calm down before I go on a tangent and defeat the whole purpose of this draft. I don’t have a plan. I just have thoughts that won’t shut up. I am actually excited to bring you inside my mind that never stops thinking. But then again, does anyone’s? 

I know it sounds counterintuitive to bring you inside my thought-provoking world but I feel like I just need to share it with the world. 

Anyway, enough with the emotional connection, let me show what my drafts will have in store in the future. 

Now, these drafts will never be filtered, they will just be raw generally heart-felt thoughts. A mind that just wants people reading my drafts (who I will call drafters) to be heard and who I can relate to, as I am pretty sure that we all have these thoughts in our heads. 

There will sometimes be deep questions, rants, sensitive subjects, religious topics, what is happening in the world and basically just a bit of everything. I hope that you will welcome and indulge in these drafts as like a new routine, that you will read every time I post. 

Here’s the plan:

• One draft every Wednesday at 1PM,
• One draft every Friday 10PM 
• One draft every Sunday 1PM.

Take them with a grain of salt — they’re simply fragments from a mind that never shuts up.

I'll be back on Friday night at 10pm

See you then, Drafters.

draft 0002

Do you ever feel like some days your family members will just pick on you for no reason. Like maybe it is not even intentional but it feels like it is. Or maybe they are just venting their own emotions and frustrations at you. Then, when two family members start, you are like what the heck is even happening right now. Then, sometimes you begin to realise that it is actually your fault and you are just shedding too much emotion.

Well, that was depressing but definitely worth it. Wow, I just said a lot, reading it back to myself. Don’t know about you but I’m exhausted.

But saying all that I now actually feel like a burden has been lifted off my shoulders, which is so nice.

I am coming to a stage where I feel genuinely that writing down whatever is really bothering you. Can really have a benefit to your mental health and help you to control your emotions.

I would recommend not that I know what I am talking about, maybe I do. Anyway recommend that you drafters try writing down whatever is bothering you. Let me know if this actually works. I hope it does.

So, I’ll be back on Sunday afternoon at 1pm.

See you then, Drafters.

draft 0003

You know what irritates me the most, is when you have a very productive day planned out. Then everything just doesn’t go as expected and this is so annoying, whenever it happens.

You always say to yourself the day before, that tomorrow is going to be such a great day and you will get a lot done. That you promised yourself. 

But don’t we all have this problem? It’s what makes human isn’t it! 

Then, what makes it so funny (I am literally smirking while writing this), is that we complain to ourselves that we didn’t achieve anything we wanted for that particular day. So, we devise another productive planned out day and don’t even do it. So we repeat the process again and again. 

Now, I could tell you a way to probably make this situation easier to prevent, if I did it would make me a hypocrite. But I’m going to tell you anyway. 

So, to make the situation easier to deal with, I would start by removing as many distractions from your day-to-day schedule or your life (slight exaggeration). Lets say you are a sports fanatic and you always watch sports. If we removed the sports, just think of how much time you would have to achieve the things you really want too. Maybe that’s a different job, starting a business, writing a book or learning a skill.

 I think I should start taking my own advice more often. (Laughing by myself).

So, I’ll be back on Wednesday at 1pm. 

See you then, Drafters. 

draft 0004

The last couple days I have been deeply thinking about the concept of a soulmate or soulmates. Now obviously I do believe in this concept completely. But I am curious to know what is it and how does it work?

So they say that a soulmate is somebody who you have already met in your past life and you will instantly click with them, when you meet them here. You will just have this feeling that you have known this particular person your entire life, but your souls will definitely remember each other. But your physical presence might not entirely remember but you will just be drawn to that person. I know this sounds so much like a fairytale. But it is real. 

I think most people get confused that a soulmate doesn’t have to be someone you are intimate with, it could be the same gender or the one you are attracted too. We have to try and remember this very important fact.

In other words, it is just someone you have known for a very long time but obviously not here on this earth. This someone can be any gender. 

Now as I am a muslim myself we believe very heavily in soulmates and we also say that when one gets married your soul becomes one, likewise with other religions, so could you say that qualifies as a soulmate too. Perhaps. I don’t know for sure, but someone out there will.

But then do you sometimes think you know who your soulmate is, (example like someone famous or random or you actually know them, so with someone random or famous, you don’t actually now who they are or where they are sometimes in the world. Maybe if they even think about someone like you or if this is just you lusting over them.

What a predicament! I have to say! 

I have this exact same problem right now, with the famous person example. I am deeply sorry that I am telling you this information right now, I bet you some of you don’t even care right now, but I know some of you are dying to know. So, there is this person, what am I even saying obviously it is a person.

Unsurprisingly It is a celebrity who I think of a lot, for it is all I can think about (I know it is a bit obsessive, but what can you do with your soulmate, who could be the love of your life). Sorry, got a bit carried away there, like usual. 

Well to me she sounds like my soulmate or my obsession, but which one could it be. Maybe she is thinking where is my soulmate too, which would be amazing. By the way. If she thought that. 

Just to let you know she is a singer, if you were wondering at all.  

I just wish there was a way to know, if your soulmate is actually thinking of you, now I mean this in a intimate way. Like I wish there was a way that we could all just meet our soulmates quickly and know if they actually wanted to be with you in this life.

Which I think many of you are probably wondering yourselves. I just hope you are, so I just didn’t write this draft for no reason.  Just joking I would have anyway. 

Anyway soulmates is such a beautiful concept and belief, that I genuinely admire it myself. The idea that you have known that soul for thousands of years. Is just so fascinating to me. 

I wonder if we get the opportunity to see our soulmates or know the  person we think is our soulmate actually is, in this world. 

So, I’ll be back on Friday evening at 10pm.

See you then, Drafters. 

draft 0005

Do you ever just feel misunderstood by others, like your intentions are genuinely good but somebody will just twist it and then you will be like i didn’t even say that.

Then depending on how you react, it could turn into a big argument over the most futile thing. Especially when it comes to your family members, then it becomes like an avalanche is headed your way (slight exaggeration).

Like I’m not denying that I haven’t done it myself, make people feel misunderstood. When you are in that moment you couldn’t care less how that person is feeling or what the consequences of the outcome could be. 

Maybe we could all start working on ourselves, to stop reacting to every single emotion and think do I even need to react here. Am I going to gain anything from the reaction that I am going to give?

Now I’m not going to lie that was a mouthful, I’m surprised that I haven’t passed out yet. ‘laughing silently’.

Hope you enjoyed my rant!

So, I’ll be back on Sunday afternoon at 1pm.

See you then, Drafters. 

draft 0006

Isn’t it sad sometimes just to see someone destroy their whole life’s right in front of you and they don’t even need too. Giving in to their emotions and letting it take control of them, when that is not even them and it is just really hard to see, especially if it’s a loved one. 

Then sometimes they will even say I want to get better and I know its wrong, but then they do it again. So I will start to question whether a person can actually change.

I then remember in the holy scriptures of the muslims (I’m a muslim in case you forgot), the Quran says that god will not change the state of a person until they change their own faith. So I do believe a person can change.

Yet it is still depressing to see, if only they realised that the qualities they possess are so genuinely good. So they should stop being negative and try not to destroy their life. Just embrace their goodness.

May god help these beautiful souls. Ameen/Amen.

So, I’ll be back on Wednesday day afternoon at 1pm.

See you then, Drafters. 

draft 0007

Do you sometimes ever feel annoyed for no reason and during this emotion you are constantly trying to think why am I even annoyed. But you still don’t know, for me it can be very irritating, which then leads to another emotion and you are like oh my god please stop.

It is like when sharks circle around their prey in a vicious ordeal. But we are the prey in this case, to our emotions. Consuming your entire being. 

To me I think it is some type of possession over the body.

The way your emotions can have such a powerful influence over you. One minute you could be all happy and jolly without a care in the world, then it could all just come tumbling down with a car stamping on its breaks kind of way. You become a completely different person, that even you yourself don’t even recognise yourself anymore. 

Sometimes my emotions will go on a roller-coaster (or as I like a mad one) of emotions, jumping from a to z and I am telling myself just to let it go and still it won’t happen. Then I keep thinking why hasn’t it stopped, all these theories and reasons are swirling around in my head, is it my ego or is it the devil whispering to me, which it most likely is. 

Now obviously we do know how to stop these, like maybe thinking before we speak, so that we don’t have to face the consequences later. People don’t really understand how much effect words can have, especially with your loved ones. We could also try writing down whatever emotions we are feeling, I for one have just started to do this as I feel that this really does help a lot. Be able to control our emotions is a skill and it takes time, like with anything. I haven’t even got to doing it. 

But sometimes it can just so overwhelming and difficult to control, that we just boil over (cooking pot overflowing, chaos in the kitchen) and go crazy with them. I have a lot of these episodes where I just can’t control it. Recently I have noticed that I am getting better. 

I do hope that if anyone is reading this, I hope you are. That if this happens to you a lot, you find way to overcome.

Please if anyone wants to reach out, please do.

Ok. So emotions. They are beautiful and disastrous at the same time. 

So, I’ll be back on Friday evening at 10pm.

See you then, Drafters. 

draft 0008

I strongly believe that whenever you are experiencing a memory, don’t get your phone out, just enjoy the moment, take it all in. Live in the moment, not in the moment of the moment of capturing the moment with our phones. 

We are a generation now that we always have to capture moments, even in any situation, even bad moments we start doing it now. This is destroying are ability to just be in the present and take in gods perfect creation. 

I know I have used the word moment a lot, so lets track it. (moment, used 6 times).

We have a memory for a reason, so lets start using it. Moments are precious and beautiful, we should be present in the moment. Not directly thinking let me get my phone out and capture this moment. Our objective should just be, be in the present and savour it. 

Moment used 9 times.

So, I’ll be back on Sunday afternoon at 1pm.

See you then, Drafters. 

draft 0009

Sometimes it is sad how some people can just get so consumed and taken over by supernatural forces. Like is it the devil? Or their own desires taking over. We have all been in this situation, whether we like to admit or don’t.

Now when I see this happen to people right in front of my eyes, it sometimes does generally scare me. Then sometimes I will be trying to understand what is actually happening here. When your realise that sometimes they are the main reason it is happening, sadness overcomes you and you think do they really need to react over this.

Like guys I think that we need to try being less reactive and more non-reactive. Maybe looking at situation first and thinking is going to make things better or worse, especially when it comes to family or loved ones. Because the consequences can be fatal and then you are going to have to bare them.

So lets think before we speak,  (I’m actually telling myself the same thing as I write). 

I think in a way I may have wrote this draft for myself too. (haha).

So, I’ll be back on Wednesday afternoon at 1pm.

See you then, Drafters. 

draft 0010 

You know when you were a kid, you or somebody else always had a idea of what you would of wanted to be when you grew up. You would always have these fantasies of what that job or dream would look like, and your school would make it seem like it is a fairytale, but is it. Hmm, maybe it is or maybe it isn’t. 

Anyway, sixteen year old me fantasying about having a video editing job in a big city somewhere. In one of those massive buildings, trying to become one of the best video editors ever, earning a great wage, getting promoted and enjoying the profession.

How did that turn out? Well not as you would have guessed. I began taking a interest in writing and I now  I am actually trying to be a writer. Can you believe that, me going from wanting to be a video editor to being a writer. Like to me they just sound like polar opposites. I didn’t even know I had a brain that could write, well I guess anybody can do anything if they put their mind to it. 

Like If somebody had told 16 year old me that I would have been trying to be a writer in 2025,I thought you would have been joking with me. It would be so funny that, I would still be laughing to this day about what that somebody was telling me. 

So really you always end up doing something that you never thought you would be doing or be capable of doing.

Like In my life right now, I cannot even think of wanting to be a video editor. It doesn’t even interest me anymore. Writing and reading have just become more fascinating to me. (I was going to say way more, but that just fell to much).

I never would have thought that I wanted to share the thoughts in my head, but now I just want to shout them out at the top of my lungs to the whole. To let people know that these thoughts are normal just like everyone else's, and that they are so much more relatable than we think. 

Wow writing does really help you to get whatever is on your chest off. I feel like I just lifted the worlds biggest boulder off of my back. (I’m being so exaggerative right know, it was necessary. I’m sorry).  

I actually love the direction in which god has taken me, to pursue being a writer. Lets just see if god wants me to keep pursuing this path or does he have different plans for me. 

I just feel that the way these things happen are absolutely mesmerising, how you do from the perfect vision what you think your future will be. To end up being something you never ever fathomed of. 

God always knows what is better for us, than what we actually think is better for us. Maybe that is why this happens, so god can tell us that he is the best of planners. (Which is a name of god in islam). 

So, I’ll be back on Friday evening at 10pm.

See you then, Drafters. 

draft 0011

We humans are always looking for purpose, but as Muslims god tells us in the holy Quran that "I did not create jinn and humans except to worship Me” (51:56 Quran) ), so that should be our main purpose in life. Also to be able to control our nafs (self), which is a very big focal point of the religion. Not just islam many different religions also emphasise on this. 

Now as I have a physical disability called Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (I will talk about this in a future draft). Which maybe some of you have noticed, due to my profile picture. I don’t think I would be able to deal with the disability and the mental resilience for it, without islam.  

Islam is more than just a religion, it is a way of life. And it has helped me to understand that god, gave me this disability for a reason. And he is the best of planners. Also god tests the ones he loves the most with the hardest tests. And when say in the Quran "Allah does not require of any soul more than what it can afford”. Meaning that he does not test a soul with more than it can handle.

So islam gives me a sense of purpose and just helps me to understand me and the world.

Anyway the point that is that we humans are always looking for purpose, you know what mine is now. You might have your own view on purpose or not even care (everybody does care, they are just hiding it. 

To me purpose means. Why do we exist? 

Without purpose we are going nowhere. 

So, I’ll be back on Sunday afternoon at 1pm.

See you then, Drafters. 

P.S. Sorry this post came out an hour later than usual. Not been well. 

draft 0012 

This draft is just going to be a rant, so don’t take everything that I say seriously or to heart.

So you know when you are in the hospital with a fever and your temperature is high and you feel cold. The doctor will say that you need to uncover yourself, so that your temperature will return back to normal.

Like okay maybe that does make sense on one hand. But the problem I have with that, is that if your body is telling you that you cold, then you should cover. Your body’s natural mechanism is telling you this. Ok even if, lets say you believe or not, it is just logical to listen to your body.

There was this one time, when I was admitted into hospital for a couple days, as I wasn’t well. I had a fever which they me when they checked and my temperature was high. Then they came back later and found out I had a blanket on because I was feeling cold. They literally grabbed the blanket, so I had to feel cold for no reason I was thinking in my head that if I feel cold, then I should listen to my body. But no it was like I had committed a sin and that I was going to be put on trial. That got a bit out of hand, sorry.

Anyway, I believe that if your body is telling you something, then most of the time you should listen to it. Especially in this case because if you think about it, your body will start sweating when you put extra layers on even if your temperature is high. So that we mean it could be getting rid of the problem and your body will sweat to cool you down. But if you don’t warm yourself up, then none of that would be possible.

Also, would people from a 100 year ago not cover themselves up if cold and they were ill. No they cover up.

The point is that the doctors are not right and not logical sometimes. (or most of the time). But surgeons are good. People for thousand of years used to use herbal remedies to cure themselves, but now we have pharmacies with their poisonous medicines. Obviously sometimes you do need medicines. 

I hope you enjoyed my rant.

So, I’ll be back on Wednesday afternoon at 1pm. 

See you then, Drafters. 

draft 0013

Sometimes it is like people just don’t want to listen to you, even though they know you are right. 

Like you know when you know that something is definitely going to work because you have tried it yourself. But that person will just be like you are wrong and I’m right, and just be so difficult about it. 

Then after they have tried it themselves, they will finally agree that you were right. But then you were like but I already told you that before. I’m like you could have tried it when I said. It can just be so infuriating sometimes.

Also, when you are telling them something. They think that you are irritating one, they don’t say it but you can just feel it (it is like they are breathing fire down your neck). I don’t mean that they are doing it deliberately but sometimes you just want to scream so loud out of frustration. Saying in your head 'I’m literally going to kill this person'. 

Now the funny thing is that, I have been moaning about somebody else doing this. When in fact I myself do it, don’t listen out of stubbornness. I am getting better at not doing it, but sometimes I just cave.

I think one of the best ways to prevent this if you are struggling with this, is the need to know, that sometimes we don’t know everything and we should try to listen to people more. I think that maybe this can resolve the problem.

No I’m not saying that I am expert at these types of things but I just think that is becoming a bigger issue day-by-day. Like I know somebody not listening isn’t a big deal. But I think if people carry on doing this, then nobody is going to listen to anybody. We keep thinking that we should know what is for ourselves, but is that always the case.

Imagine a world where everybody thinks they know best about everything and doesn’t listen anybody, even a fly screaming. (Slight exaggeration). Now, that is a world that I do not want to imagine at all, it just horrifies me thinking about it.

Ok, I’m done thinking about that. 

Anyway I think I have finished my rant, sorry if that was a lot, I’m literally trying to catch my breath back after all that. What a mouthful.

So, I’ll be back on Friday evening at 10pm.

See you then, Drafters. 

draft 0014

Sometimes I just feel like somebody’s punching bag. Just there to absorb their sucker punches of emotions. 

Getting uppercuts, left right and centre. Blows to the body and your teeth getting smacked right out of your mouth. Blood oozing. 

Ok, let me calm down, after that exaggeration. But it does feel like that. 

So, after getting beaten up. Slapped around. 

Then you think to yourself, should I be understanding about the emotions they are going through, maybe they just can’t deal with it. Or why the heck am I be shouted at, I shouldn’t be there to have their emotion taken out on me. 

But now I have realised that silence is a great fix for this and not reacting to the person.

So, I’ll be back on Sunday afternoon at 1pm.

See you then, Drafters. 

End of part one

Drafts 15 to 28 will be in part two

See you then, Drafters.